This just in!

It's official! I get the keys to the new place at 5:30! Yippee

Not that living out of boxes and having a home that somewhat resembles a corn maze in October doesn't have a quirky fun side to it...it's just that there are very few redeeming qualities in the comfort of the refrigerator box currently serving as a sofa, or the computer box/coffee tables that are not quite sturdy enough for a lamp, with a peculiar scent of pepperoni and saugage that lingers from the new coffee table, cleverly converted from last night's dinner delivery. (I guess it's time to say goodbye to the Coleman lantern hanging from the ceiling hook that once housed my oil fountain/hanging Greek Godess lamp-statue.) ;)

I have been waiting for this day for several months now, slowly increasing the intensity of the "packing process" from the occasional glance at a box here and there, as I think to my self, "hmm...that might work for the monitor" or, "hey, I think my collection of nesting dolls will fit in that box", to following the Best Buy guys to their cars to see if I can talk any of them into stashing a few of the "good" boxes, with a little help from "George" while secretly imagining myself holding U-Haul to get some good wardrobe boxes and packing tape.

I have lost my tape guns (3 of them) over the course of packing, at LEAST a hundred times, and don't know that I didn't use one to seal the other safely into a box..."somewhere".

The great news is it is all down hill from here. Two flights of stairs, twice the size of the home, hundreds of boxes, bags, and plastic containers, some basic furniture, some pizza and lots of friends...moving made easy!

Expectation v. Expectancy

I was thinking about a friend of mine, and the huge transition his life has seemed to take. So unexpectedly, so out of character for him, and so much change. From his church, which he is imbedded deeply in, and church family, to friends, co-workers, to the very place he calls home, It is all changing tomorrow. I think it takes a huge amount of courage to make changes in your life. I also believe it takes a LOT more courage to allow God to make those changes in your life. Let me explain…

When you and I decide we are going to change something…we usually decide, first of all, what we are going to change. We will then pursue the means by which we will make said changes, followed by actually carrying them out. We are allowing for a certain amount of expectation that, due to the actions we take change is inevitable, even anticipated. Now, in my opinion, that in is admirable, sometimes heroic and more often than not the only easy part about making the change is acknowledging the desire, everything else takes WORK!

So…what about those changes that we are kept in the dark about? What about the ones that the Lord is working out ahead of us before we ever get to tomorrow? The changes that gradually reveal themselves to us, usually without our input, though usually perfectly timed. Often so gradual that we may not recognize them until someone else notices first.

That is what made me think about “Expectancy” v. “Expectations”. I believe that when we live a life filled with expectations we are living a life with an agenda. We have conditioned our hearts and minds for a specific outcome and, no doubt, a great possibility for disappointment. (Perhaps a lifetime of it.) We have not usually considered other possibilities, or if we have they are so distant that they never become a real possibility in our hearts or minds. I know I have lived my life this way, and even carried certain expectations into relationships. Sometimes, they were reasonable and healthy…and at other times, they were self serving and selfish.

Expectancy…let’s take a look at this for a moment…a few glimpses at the synonyms, reveal descriptive words like, anticipation, hope, suspense, bated breath!

Anticipation!? Hope!?...BATED BREATH!? How cool is that!??!

I could not help but think about my life in Christ…has it been filled with Expectation alone? I will never say that is a bad thing…Encarta defines expectation as “A confident belief for a strong hope that a particular event will happen.” Sounds great to me! I believe we need that! I just believe that we need to believe that those “particular events” are actually for good and not evil, to give us a future and a hope!

The thing with expectation seems to me to be more about a “timing” thing. We seem to be looking at the clock…waiting…with no wiggle room for anything to occur but what we expect. (I believe we carry this into relationships and perhaps…miss great opportunities to be wonderfully surprised by the ones we love because there is less expectancy in relationships than there is expectation. I believe our relationship

with the Lord is also subject to this practice.)

So this “expectancy”, what does it mean? I mean we know what some of the synonyms are now, but what about the definition? I couldn’t wait to look up the definition. Here is what I found.

Expectancy: “Excited awareness that something is about to happen.”

Now THAT, to me, is alive! It is a state of being, and a place of hopefulness. There are no deadlines so there is no disappointment there. There is no definitive, but it leans toward the belief that something good is going to happen. At the very least SOMETHING was going to happen. (Which is what had me thinking about change). It sounds like fun. It sounds like something I want to have more of. It sounds like it is perhaps, something we need to consider as we face those daily trials, the changes life brings us as we are challenged by the uncertainty of each new day.

Don't get me wrong. I think it is fair and reasonable to have expectations and give it its' fair shot too. God’s word has revealed "God Himself" to us . We read it to learn about the author, That He spoke truth, proclaimed Himself to be God and asked that we believe in it. Not for His sake, but our own. I believe it to be true...I expect it to be true.

It’s funny how sometimes,I finally “get” things. The kind of things the Lord was probably trying to get me to understand for a long time. I mean it’s one thing to be intent on learning, and maybe even looking for answers, but quite another thing to somehow stumble upon the answers to questions you didn’t even realize you had.

Today, with a renewed sense of excited awareness that something *good is about to happen, I am going to trust that it is His perfect plan unfolding. I am going to walk confidently in the hope that is Christ, and with great expectancy. I am going to wait on Him, rest in Him and know that His timing is perfect, that change is inevitable, and when it happens, I can expect that it is all for good!

Situational Extroversion...I Think It Might Catch On!

I am learning more about myself as I “put myself out there”, especially in my single’s group.
For so long, I lacked the courage or confidence to speak up, or speak out. I believed any attention I got was negative attention. I feared judgment, criticism, assumption, and rejection. I found solace in solitude and contentment in the risk free lifestyle that solitude offered. I really had not considered myself “lonely”... That just didn’t seem to faze me as much as I had recognized that I was “alone”.

As a child, I remember being a bit of a goof ball. Silly and carefree. As I reflect on the little girl I was, I remember that there was a time “before” the fear, when I was just free. I was free to be in the mix of people. Though, I was self conscious to a degree…nothing like the self consciousness that I grew into as I got older.

I have spent a lot of my life determining where I belong based on what I got out of being there, whether it was a job, a committee, a hobby, a church, a friendship or even a romantic relationship. It never really dawned on me that this was true of me, until I started to recognize the truest satisfaction I have experienced in who I am as a woman, a mother, a friend came out of the sincerest and simplest of things. It was when I began investing in the people of those relationships. When I started to give of myself, my talents and my time that I began to find the greatest contentment I had ever experienced.

You see, I was learning that I was finally operating in the gifts the Lord had given me. I am an exhorter, and encourager, and at times, I can even administrate…none of those gifts were given to me to hide away in the safety of aloneness. I didn’t really even recognize that I had those gifts until I risked a little judgment, criticism, assumption and even rejection. It wasn’t until I trusted what the Lord was doing in me, and getting past the lies of the enemy who wanted me to go to my grave believing that my past somehow dictates my future, and that my failures defined me, rather than shaped me into who I am today.

I have shared with some that I consider myself a “situational extrovert”. It is getting easier to be the voice in the room, and not just a flower on the wall. But, not because of my comfort level or self confidence, but because I know that the Lord has given me spiritual gifts and that He intended for me to use them to minister to others. To give an account for the hope that is in me and to share the opportunity with others so that they too can have that kind of hope.

I pray that you might be encouraged to recognize and utilize the gifts the Lord has given you. That perhaps you might even consider that safety sometimes isn’t safe, and the contentment can sometimes be a cover for complacency. I pray that you will find confidence in the living God that gives to you all you need to be where He has you. I would encourage you to venture out, try something new, and give the Lord a chance to show you how unique and important you are to the lives around you. It isn’t always easy, and sometimes it’s even painfully frightening. But I can promise you this, the rewards are immeasurable and the journey is unforgettable!

Overwhelmed

Today, my head is spinning. My anxiety level is rising and I seem to be lost in directionless wandering. I have boxes everywhere, loans that are in need of my attention, publishers calling, clients waiting, laundry piles morphing into mountains before my eyes, email coming out my ears, and of course, I only want to hide away and write.

When I get like this I tend to shut down. I find myself curled up,(mentally) thinking, praying and hoping that I can regain some sense of direction before I get lost for an indefinite period of time. Usually, a trip out of the house to get coffee helps...too bad I downed nearly a pot already... My jitters have the jitters!

In all my earthly wisdom, I have learned to leave a trail of gummy bears so that I can find my way out of every mess I find myself in. The problem, as I see it, is that they are of no use if I pick them up and eat them along the way! (well, except for the fact that they feed my sugar high). :0)

I guess it's good to feel the pressure of your worlds colliding at times. I am not sure "WHAT" good it is, but as always, in time, it is revealed and often makes perfect sense. I am watching my clock as I type, anticipating the moment that it all becomes clear. (Only to notice that the battery needs replacing-is it my eyes or is the second hand moving BACKWARDS?!) and that, of course, only adds to the humor (and humiliation) of it all.

Whelp...It appears that nothing is getting done...and that doesn't seem to help the anxiety level. Something's gottah give!

Ok...OK!...Fine! I'll get back to work! But, I won't like it and...

~I WILL BE BACK!

Ever Transitioning

This weekend was spent doing something I love, but this time it was for others and not for me. My single's group put together a huge yard sale and made over 500 dollars for Acres of Hope, a women's transitional home out of Auburn.

It was hot, and a lot of work, but just knowing that it is going to a good cause somehow makes everything right. Don't worry, we suffered only slightly. We were never short on pizza, Starbucks, or the comfort of running inside for a bottled water and a nice comfy couch under the air conditioner. It was so natural for me to assume those luxuries would be there. Or, to anticipate that I would not endure much more than the slightest effects of a little hard work on a warm summer's day.

Remembering back to the days when I was faced with providing, on my own, for my children brought a sense of humility to me that I hope I never forget. There is a kind of fear that accompanied my waking hours. "What if" I would never "make it" or be able to provide for my children all that they deserve? Being left at such a young age with three small children, and nothing but a GED and some general labor work skills to somehow make ends meet, left me with more questions about our future that imagined possibilities. I remember at times thinking that there was no way I could do it. No matter how I added things up, crossed things of the list of "necessities" or went without...there was just never enough.

There were plenty of times when I felt crushed against the anvil. When it seemed that I might surrender to the intensity of the heat. The seemingly relentless blows had become a formidable opponant. And, were it not for the one consistency in my life, Jesus, I might have buckeled. So many times I felt there was nothing more I could do, and would cry out to God. (He had me where He wanted me!) Today I see that those "blows" were only the shaping and forming that was required at the time. The very trials that allowed me to choose God. To make Him king and covering. To allow Him to be who He was in my life, so that I might, one day, be who I am to be.

He was so faithful. I was so consistently "not". I look at who I am today, who my children are, and consider where we came from. I can only attest to the good that came from the life we lived as being a blessing amid the trials. I am confident that His grace and mercy are the reasons I am here today. A strong, faith filled believer who leans on Him as I face each day. I learned that I could trust Him in even the smallest of things. I learned that I could be confident in Him. I learned that I was loved, and His provision for my life was greater than I could imagine. More importantly, I learned that He loved my children even more than I did. Though, it is still hard for me to fathom.

I see I am not so unlike the women in the transitional home. I find that I am on quite a similar journey, though perhaps a little further down the road. The twists, the turns, the unpredictable nature of life. All the things that make me want to stay in bed, yet, call to me...daring me to face and conquer.

I am thankful for opportunities to reflect back on who I was back then, and where I came from. It puts perspective to the reality that the Lord truly is working on us, as He works in us, so that He might work through us. (Knowing full well, I have not "arrived".)

I know that the women at the transitional home have had a rough go of things. I know some may not even have the hope of Christ, that I have today as I did back then. I know that we are all striving, struggling, and not always able to believe that we are capable of overcoming, not on our own, but because of Whose we are.

I think back to where I might have erred most often, and it was almost always when I tried to accomplish on my own, what my Jesus wanted to do Himself.

Today, I pray that we might remember for a moment that we all start "somewhere" on this journey. That we don't always get to choose how the Lord reveals Himself to us, or when. But, we do all get the chance to tell our story at least once. We get to share what He has done for us and maybe even encourage or impact another life for good. We embark on a journey, it starts before we are ever born. We will, no doubt, be faced with many a tough decision, and opportunity to take that "road less traveled"...Knowing that I don't have to "go it alone" is my peace! I pray my life will be a story, a never ending, hope filled, grace infused, mercifully blessed, story of my great big, loving God and me.

...ROAD TRIP!!!!

Lead Us Not Into Temptation, But...

A good friend of mine had been teaching her three-year old daughter, Ella, the Lord's Prayer. For several evenings right before bed little Ella would repeat each line from the prayer after her mom. Finally, Ella was ready to go solo. My friend listened with pride as Ella carefully enunciated each word right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, in the most precious little voice, "but deliver us from e-mail."

~ Amen!.

What's it two ewe?

"It's none of their business that you have to learn how to write. Let them think you were born that way".
~Ernest Hemingway

Mr. Hemingway is among my favorite of "the literary giants". Though, you won't hear much in the way of commentary from me regarding him. I think there are many great dissertations on his abilities as a writer, his masterful and accutely defined talent and of course his works themselves speak volumes both literally and figuratively so that I am left with no room to expound. Simply put, “It has all been said”.

Ernie does inspire and challenge me to tap into the mind I have been given. As I put my pen to paper, or in this venue, fingers to the keyboard, to find simple and concise ways to memorialize certain thoughts, feelings, opinions or ideas on any given subject. I see that as I purpose myself to write an “installment to the blog”, I become more aware of how easy it can be to catch a good case of "writer's block". In this instance, the confounding is more in the sense that there is SO much I want to write about but, cannot chose a particular subject. Therefore, I sit, slumped and pondering.

I guess I might have done well to put this disclaimer out there from the onset. I write because I have to. Because thoughts float, and dreams that start out as pictures turn magically into colors, and sounds and words in my head. They waft around, like the aroma of fresh baked apple pie, straight from the oven. You cannot see the aroma. But for the pie itself, aroma would not exist. Is it fair to say the pie is only as good as it tastes? To that end, words are only words until they are crafted into a story, a thought, a poem, or song with the purpose of satisfying the underlying hunger, or urging to communicate.

I would never claim to be grammatically astute. My spelling and punctuation will always yearn to be adopted by an English major that would lovingly make the most of coming along side to polish and shine what I manage to present to the world as "my rocks". I often type out faster than I think, and eventually find myself going back to correct a “two” for a “too” or a “weak” for a "week”. I do my best to preview this stuff, reading the post "through and threw" before posting it for posterity...I am just bound to miss stuff. It is just the way it is with me! ;)

As I am reminded that we are to live by the measure of grace we offer others, I ask:

"If there be any grace in any of you, let it be in this"…that you are compassionate and understanding in your knowing that my love is “writing” …not "grammar or spelling"! (Heck, it's PRACTICALLY biblical)!!

~1 Lisa 1:1-2

Holy or Happy...do we have to choose?

I find myself needing to draw straws when it comes to what to write next. My mind spins with topics, ideas and opinions…all ripe for sharing. Perhaps the wisdom is not so much in sharing what I believe about a specific topic, but that I share what I have learned from it?

A friend of mine and I were chatting last night. As we talked we stumbled onto the subject of the trials and hardships we are currently facing and what it means to find "joy" in the midst of trials. We talked a bit about the subject of “happiness” and what it might mean in the grand scheme of things…and then I remembered what my pastor said on more than one occasion. “The Lord is more concerned with our HOLINESS than our HAPPINESS”. It really doesn’t get any clearer than that!

We are all faced with trials, difficulties, and hardships. Almost without exception, the aforementioned comes at us with little notice, if any at all! I can no longer count on my hands and feet the number of times I have been blindsided by trials and difficulties that I never saw coming. Yet, I cannot help but consider that If all that I endure is meant to bring me to a closer, holier, and purer walk with Him, then why not just draw near to Him and abide in Him BEFORE the "trials that teach” find me!? My experiences tells me that I am happiest when I am holiest-as I abide in Christ.

I am so grateful that I have a rescuer, a savior, protector and redeemer. A mighty God that sees the simplicity and naivety of who and what I am yet finds me loveable. I am humbled and thankful that I have a hope that goes beyond my own ability to out run, outsmart or, even out last any trial. That I can run to my protector, the one who can extinguish any threat before it would consume me. My prayer is that you have found that same hope, that same heart of gratitude, and the same realization that we need not face our battles alone. We don’t go through the hardships to prove to ourselves that we are tough, capable or indestructible, rather, that God IS, and in His wisdom will use any means to draw us to Himself.

I am learning that I simply need to be in His presence. In the safety of the shelter of His covering. And that my trials always bring me to that place. I pray you wouldn't find yourself running just to run, with no direction or hope of finding a safe haven, a restful, peaceful, place. I pray you find all you need when you stop running "from" the trials, and instead run "to" Jesus.

Refiner's Fire

There is not an ingot of silver in heaven’s treasury which has not been in the furnace on earth and been purified 7 times; there is not a gem which the Divine Jeweler has not exposed to every sort of test; there is not an atom of gold in the Redeemer’s crown which has not been molten among the hottest coals so as to rid it if its alloy. It is universal to every child of God. If you are a servant of the Lord, you must be tried “as gold is tried.”
~C.H. Spurgeon

There are many days I wake up to a sense of peace and contentment that goes beyond my understanding’s own ability to comprehend. It is a serene and beautiful place in which to awaken. Though, it is rarer than not. I cannot seem to “un-know” this sense and have a longing to experience this state of being every day. Instead are the aches and pains of simply living in a body that is as tired of being asleep as it is of being awake. Those mornings are much more consistent than the other. As I convince my feet to hit the floor, I am reminded that I am not as young as I once was. I talk to God first thing…we discuss “my” plan, and then we throw it out the window. (I have to get it out of my system). And then, I can only surrender to what He has for me today.

I pray that my day is easy, but trust that though it may not be, He is with me. I pray that I might not have to face the “giants” of my world, but trust that if I do, He is with me. I ask for His protection, knowing that I really don’t have to, as He has promised me that He is with me always. I ask that I not be tested, but trust that if I am, He is with me. I hope that If I am tested, that I not fail. And if I fail, I trust that He is still with me.

Life is filled with challenges, trials, difficulties and disappointments. Most of which are a conquerable, but not without first going to battle. I say most, because, we know that we cannot always win every battle. At least not in the ways “we” consider winning. Many a brave soul has lost their battle to cancer, devastating injuries, or their own will to live. I can’t help but wonder how the Lord will use that for His good, His glory in the grand scheme of things I can tell you that I have seen with my own eyes how those who Love Him, even in their dieing breaths, have ministered to the grieving.

So many people I know today face difficult trials, financial, marital, spiritual, emotional…I could go on but the point remains the same. The only common denominator is the suffering that is evoked from the difficulty, and what position the "sufferer" takes with every trial, or situation that they face. It has been my experience that what separates those I have witnessed in such trials (including myself), is what or WHO those in the midst of trial trust in. I am learning that I must go through the difficulties, some being consequences of my own choices, and some a direct result of someone else’s. (Sometimes, it is just the natural course of events and no one is to blame). Nevertheless, I must get to the other side regardless of whose “fault” it is. I would rather lean on and trust the God who made me than to rely on my own strength to get to that "other side".

The reality is that it truly is a refining process, one that can occur no other way. The heat of the flame, the "breaking down" before the true forming begins, the assurance that we are in the hands of the Master who rids our lives of the alloy, the impurities that keep us from being our purest, most refined selves, fit for a crown.

I am accepting of this process, though I don’t always endure with grace. I am submitted, though at times, I kick against the goads. It is in His loving nature to remind me “whose” I am, and that no matter the process, He has not asked of me a greater suffering than He himself had not already endured.

Happy Birthday!

When I was little, I saw my dad as this tower of a man, a super hero, and a "jungle gym". He'd come home from working at Sears, smelling nothing of cologne, but like the solder and dust of the television repair department that paid him his monthly wage of approximately $400 bucks. Back then, televisions were "all the rage", and you were "something else" if you actually had one!
...I will never forget the white collared shirts, with the navy blue pants and the Sears insignia patch above the left breast pocket, and his black shiny shoes. That is definitely an era gone by.

Dad would no sooner make his way home, before we were running up to him to tell him about our day...as significant as it was to have learned how to tie our shoes, build forts or tell on each other for the trouble we had gotten into. One of my FAVORITE things to do was to grab both of his hands and start the climb upward into his arms. He humored me until he could no longer bear the weight, but for several years it was my secret comfort zone. He would brace his knees and I would climb until I was wrapped around his neck. At that point, we would usually be nestled into his burgandy, faux leather recliner.

Early on he called me "monkey"...not a fabulous nick name, but it was mine. To this day I am not sure if it was because I was a climber, or because I had such hairy arms...or both!? I readily admit I was a daddy's girl, (still am), and that in his eyes, even to this day, there was little I could do wrong. That's not to say that we both don't know differently, it's just that his tolerance for my demeanor and periodic waywardness is higher than almost anyone elses.

Today is dad's birthday, he is 64. Already receiving his Social Security and heading fast and furious into retirement. His hair, no longer dark and curly, but thinning and silver, cleverly accentuating his eyes. (As crystal blue as they ever were.) Yet a youthfulness resonates in him that can only be attributed to his passion for "living". His accent, though in this country now over 46 years, is still notable and even considerably difficult to understand if you are not around him much. I sometimes wonder how I ever understood him as a child. He knew very little English back then. I remember him speaking "Spanglish" if you will. I guess there is a language that goes beyond words, and if we listen intently we learn to understand. His face is not as smoothe as it was back then, a tall, handsome, Columbian transplant, in his late teens when he came to the U.S., American dreams in tow, but he is still quite handsome!

Dad is a man who dreams big dreams and lives his life on his own terms. Not everyone can appreciate that, and some might even call it selfish or self centered. At times, even I thought so. Now that I am older, I tend to look past those things and focus more on what I know about the man he has become than the man that started the journey, who seemed to get lost every now and then...even disappearing at times, only to eventually find the path again.

I guess its safe to say that I am not so unlike him, and can only hope that my children will learn, as I have, not so much from what I do wrong as what I do right.

Feliz cumpleaños, Papa!
~XO...Monkey

A Measure of Success

This morning, in bible study, my pastor was sharing on the "meaning of success". He asked that we discuss amongst ourselves what we thought that might "look like".

As I sat there, listening to the people that I have come to respect and care deeply for, I heard their hearts speak of dissapointments, failures and frustration for what lacked rather than what did not. They began to share and define for themselves and the others at the table how their struggle to succeed was challenged with the opposing rationalization that their definition of success was skewed at best. It dawned on me that they don't really see how precious and wonderful they are. Nor do they see how they have blessed me by just being who the Lord created them to be.

I heard how the very people I had admired for their seemingly unselfish ways, whose hearts were genuine and lives open, still saw themselves as failures. Somehow they were focused on what they lacked or failed to accomplish, rather than on what the Lord was accomplishing in and through them. I must say that I am a priveleged, living witness to the work the Lord is doing in my single's group with a sordid bunch of good-hearted misfits who just want to find a place to grow in Christ, love and be loved, romanticism aside.

It's not a surprise to me (anymore) that the Lord first shows me these truths in the lives of others before it dawns on me that He is, once again, holding up a mirror so that I will see my life for the truth that it is and not just for the failures and shortcomings that I tend to focus on.

We went on to learn that success is not so much a "financial thing", "the car", "the house", "the 2.3 kids", the "guy" or the "girl" of our dreams, or the "job" that offers all the prestige any over sized ego could wrap itself around. We were reminded that it is our responsibility to take the talents, gifts and abilities the Lord has given us and use them for His glory, His purpose, and to further the gospel to the unbelieving. I believe it is in making our lives, our hearts, our talents and resources available for the purpose of the Lord's kingdom that we are truly able to mark that measure of success.

Today, I am thankful that we are each created for specific purposes and are well equipped to carry out what ever we must. I recognize more today than yesterday that my completeness is in Christ but to operate in the wholeness of who I am, I must focus on being available, open and willing to be used by and for Him. I pray that I can celebrate the measures of success by the opportunities I did not waste to be used by Him for the good of His kingdom.

And so it begins...

I read my friend's blog today. And, as if I were a moth lured by flame, I am compelled to flitter in and out of all the nuances that make blogging a "writer's drug of choice". I can almost restrain--almost. it's just that "They" make it so easy now...click here, insert there, type this here, and "poof" you have a blog. Heck, why not give it a go? I have something to say...even if no one will listen.

I was told I should give this a try..."it's therapeutic", he says.

So, here's to my first "no cost" therapy session!

I am sitting on my bed, typing away knowing full well that I should be taking things off the walls and packing instead. It appears that the process of moving does not begin on its own. I have a few weeks yet, but the job is a big one and time is not the commodity it once was. The problem is, "I am hooked". This is right up my alley- free style writing, graphic design, fonts, colors, and an entire "www" full of photos, jokes, cartoons, and other useless information to insert "here and there"...best of all...NO ONE CAN STOP ME!

Equal to my passion for writing, is my passion for interior design. And, as a writer may believe there are never enough leather bound journals in the world, a designer may find herself entrapped by the belief that many "design elements", does a "great design" make. (Ok, so, "design elements" is a glorified justification for "chachkies" ). On the other hand, if I were an employee of a moving company...I might call it junk? no matter what the case may be...my house is FULL of it!

The plan was to hit the major stores like Wal-Mart after their night shift of stocking so that I could score some decent boxes. That was about 5 hours ago...does that make me a procrastinator?

I am excited for change, but not the process one must endure to exact said change. My life experiences have taught me that there is always a cost for change, which often includes "pain" of one sort or another.

I guess I am up for the challenge. It appears the Lord thinks I might be, as He alone has paved the way.*Remind me to tell you the story of how this all came about...but, it's gonna have to wait 'cuz...well, I need to pack!

...Wow! He was right. I feel better already!