It must be that time of the year...you know, that time of year that as the air begins to chill, and the smell of the leaves as they turn color, fall to the ground and are raked into piles reminds us that fall is "falling" and we just come to expect "certain" things from the season.
It is the time of year when snuggling on the couch with that special someone does not require the a/c turned down to the 60's just so you don't "stick" together as you "stick together" and hot cocoa and homemade soup just start to make their way to the top of the list of "must haves". Pumpkin Spice Lattes make their way back into Starbucks, (what a clever marketing gimmick), and grocery stores and "super stores" dedicate miles of isles to CANDY! (did you just hear that? my heart just skipped a beat! I DO LOVE ME SOME CANDY!)
To me, "that" time of year also causes me to bunker down a little, spend more time reading, writing, reflecting, and pondering the year in passing. Perhaps this is why I just picked up on my blog where I left off in JANUARY!?! I really can't believe how long it has been since I felt like writing something here. I guess it doesn't really matter much, but for someone who loves to write, it is a bit perplexing.
I am just back from a conference for work. I am (as was intended), a little more motivated, enlightened, and excited again about what I do, who I do it for, and why I do it. I think that is a good thing!
I work for a company that has done plenty of good for not only our wonderful Country, but for many others as well. They are a very strong company in the midst of all the turmoil surrounding the "times we live in" and treat me very well as I represent them to the best of my ability. It is safe to say I am proud to be a part of something so phenomenal and can only hope to rise to the occasion of being equal to it. (though obviously only to the degree that I am able as a single individual).
I have to say, as I was reminded of the history of our company, what it stood for, how it invested in the lives of SO many, by way of investing in other company's ideas and providing opportunities for families to have insurance whether home, life, medical, legal, or offer studies on the aging population (We have an ENTIRE institute dedicated to studying aging, and how it affect, and effects society not only today, but in the future) I learned we funded little projects like "The Empire State Building", we employ THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of people world wide, providing well paying jobs, medical benefits, excellent training, camaraderie, and the ability to continue to grow within the company. I began to recognize a sense of pride, of "belonging", and desire to WANT to do well for this company all over again.
Now, don't think I didn't realize, yes...that is probably what they were hoping for, I am smart enough to "get that"...the thing is, I STILL wanted to do 'em proud! As I asked myself "WHY"...one of my favorite questions EVER and I recognized that I had come to learn the character of the company a little better and realized that it aligned with the core of who I am, and wanted to be a bigger part of it. Simple as that.
So, here I am, a Snoopy touting, card carrying member of something bigger than me, that hopes to continue to be stable, provide services and a future for as many as will allow me and have some fun in the midst of it all.
Of course, you know I can't go "there" without also going..."here"...
I also reflect often on that same thought process when in comes to my relationship with Jesus Christ. (I am NOT comparing the company I work for with Jesus, as NONE can compare)...but the "idea" of understanding character and having it align with the core of who I am, and what I want to be, or simply desire whether I will ever "attain" is quite similar. *Save for the fact one is eternal, the other very temporal at best.
I am always encouraged and stirred when I attend Bible Study, or Church with believing friends or spend time in prayer or reading His word on my own. (it is kind of like this conference I just returned from every time). A little more about Him is revealed, and I am excited to be a part of it. The more I know about Him and what he has done for this world, the more sure I am that I am right where I am supposed to be. All the nuances that make Jesus, well...Jesus, resonate with me as I learn them. I am in a constant state awe, renewed confidence, and a sense of loyalty comes over me making me want to make my Jesus proud.
Ya know, I was thinking about how I have dear friends who are struggling right now. Many are out of work, looking for something to "make the difference", knowing ANYTHING would help. They just have this desperate sense about them, and of course I just want to "fix it". I just want them ALL to come work for the company I work for because I know the character and integrity of the company. I know what they stand for, I see their vision for the future, and it is a place I LOVE to work for. Of course, I have a greater passion for them to see my Jesus the way I do. To see His ability to save, to supply need, to ease fears, to create family, to heal the broken hearted, to sustain and to offer ETERNITY to. I see His vision for our future, I can't help but be excited and want to share this discovery with my friends too!
So, just as I would share my greatest find, whether a two-for-one coupon for a great restaurant, a clearance sale at DSW, my own surgeon should you need her, (hope not) or the company I work for, I would also like to share my eternal hope, my joy, my peace, my salvation and my rock.
The good news???? ...no interview process, no drug testing, back ground testing, credit checks, no 30, 60, or 90 day "trial periods", no typing or personality tests, and no competing with a more well qualified candidate, as this is an unlimited number of openings, NO EXPERIENCE REQUIRED gig...come as you are!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
8 months!
Good grief, has it been that long?
Yowza...I haven't written or posted to my blog in EIGHT months!
Not sure why really, I THINK all the time! I have ideas, ponder thoughts, even share some of
them without writing them down, rather often. So, here I am, 4.5 hours away from two different alarm clocks going off so that I won't miss my flight to S0-Cal...and NOW I write!
I am exhausted, my mind is fried, life has been a whirlwind...things I feared and fretted have come and gone, some of the hopes I had came to fruition, some I am still hoping for. Concerns grew to crisis, or simply to silly stacks of embarrassments as I questioned myself internally...did I really have SO little faith!? Deadlines came and went, some prayers were answered, some were not.*yet? I reached a few goals, I failed more often than I care to admit. (oops, too late).
I left a little baggage behind, learned a few new songs, I sang them out loud. I dropped some weight, had back surgery and shortly thereafter wondered why I waited so long. I suffered severed relationships, and severed suffering relationships. I cried deeply and equally over both, yet still trust the Lord for healing there. I became an auntie(to triplets), learned I was going to be a GRAMMY, *yaye ME! I re-discovered that healing can happen when you least expect it, and that sometimes NOT expecting someone to meet your expectations can surprise you, even cause you to reconsider what it is that defined your original expectations to begin with.
...I moved, it was a big move, but only across the way...making it a big SHORT move. I stared at that statement and am fairly confident that it was not oxy-moronic in nature. I will stop staring now as not to change my mind and have to re-write this sentence. I unwrapped some new friends, and deepened older friendships, cut some ties, and tied up some loose ends. I am still facing giants, but don't feel as alone, at least not today. I still fear giants. I still trust God with my fears. I am working an awful lot, thankful for every opportunity. Frustrated that I am not seeing the results that cause me to feel like I have succeeded, absolutely confident that I am doing exactly what I should be. (Just wondering if i should be doing it more)?
I've eaten ice cream for dinner, at least once or twice, skipped breakfast, drove over the speed limit, (without getting caught), and listened to dear people tell their stories. I have felt alone, I have felt lonely...rarely at the same time. I have been underwhelmed, over stimulated, even sassy from time to time. Not really sure why that matters in the scheme of things, but it is what comes to mind, so it is now part of the post.
I consider the wonder of my children, their lives, the lives of those they love, their hopes, their choices, and their fortitude to persevere, and I am inspired. I made room in my life to love again, and am recognizing that it will probably happen when I am equally convinced that I am as loveABLE as I am lovING. I bought a season pass to Six Flags, and rode as many roller coasters in one day as I possibly could. I plan to do it again. I camped, and chilled with friends, and camped again and made new friends. I ate copious amounts of ice cream for less than two bucks and did it each day while I was camping!
I rode a Segway, for the first time. I attended a PRO baseball game for the first time.*Got the hat-Go Giants! I saw the Thunderbirds scream through the air with precision and grace, for the first time. *no hat but I do have my very own "dog tags" now. I went to the Crocker Museum for the first time. I bought a new car that I actually paid cash for, for the first time. I bought a convertible, for the first time! *Same car, different point ;) I met a friend I have had for nearly four years, for the first time. I saw Jason Mraz, Boss Skaggs, Diana Krall, and Michael McDonald, for the first time.
There is a lot of life lived, passed by, forgotten and remembered. There is so much more that I could have said, but my eyes are rolling back in my head and now I am 3.5 hours away from the alarm clocks going off.
A lot can happen...or NOT happen in 8 months, some "blog worthy" some, not-so-much! This certainly cannot make up for 8 months worth of bloglessness *Yes, that is NOW "officially" another "Lisa Bee"-ism, but it touches on the high and low "lights" of them.
I hope this is my "uncorking"...and that there is more in my heart t
o say, to reveal, to question and explore. I hope that somehow, out of all that "stuff" up there, I might find a story to share, something more than a capsule size glimpse, smooshed between commas, or parenthesis to write about, to put color to, to put music to, and to put life to.
Listen, it's late, there is no ethereal or double sided meaning to the ending to this post. I have no clever agenda, nothing witty with which to close out this diatribe of gibberish. In fact, the best I can come up with at this ridiculous hour of the night is that I should have ended it PARAGRAPHS ago, cashing in on the extra 30 minutes of sleep! There is no wrap up, no "moral to this story", no slow fade to a suspenseful dangler or an ending that causes you to think deeper, or smile softly or giggle inwardly for all the feel good mushy stuff...this one just ends.
Yowza...I haven't written or posted to my blog in EIGHT months!
Not sure why really, I THINK all the time! I have ideas, ponder thoughts, even share some of
them without writing them down, rather often. So, here I am, 4.5 hours away from two different alarm clocks going off so that I won't miss my flight to S0-Cal...and NOW I write!I am exhausted, my mind is fried, life has been a whirlwind...things I feared and fretted have come and gone, some of the hopes I had came to fruition, some I am still hoping for. Concerns grew to crisis, or simply to silly stacks of embarrassments as I questioned myself internally...did I really have SO little faith!? Deadlines came and went, some prayers were answered, some were not.*yet? I reached a few goals, I failed more often than I care to admit. (oops, too late).
I left a little baggage behind, learned a few new songs, I sang them out loud. I dropped some weight, had back surgery and shortly thereafter wondered why I waited so long. I suffered severed relationships, and severed suffering relationships. I cried deeply and equally over both, yet still trust the Lord for healing there. I became an auntie(to triplets), learned I was going to be a GRAMMY, *yaye ME! I re-discovered that healing can happen when you least expect it, and that sometimes NOT expecting someone to meet your expectations can surprise you, even cause you to reconsider what it is that defined your original expectations to begin with.
...I moved, it was a big move, but only across the way...making it a big SHORT move. I stared at that statement and am fairly confident that it was not oxy-moronic in nature. I will stop staring now as not to change my mind and have to re-write this sentence. I unwrapped some new friends, and deepened older friendships, cut some ties, and tied up some loose ends. I am still facing giants, but don't feel as alone, at least not today. I still fear giants. I still trust God with my fears. I am working an awful lot, thankful for every opportunity. Frustrated that I am not seeing the results that cause me to feel like I have succeeded, absolutely confident that I am doing exactly what I should be. (Just wondering if i should be doing it more)?
I've eaten ice cream for dinner, at least once or twice, skipped breakfast, drove over the speed limit, (without getting caught), and listened to dear people tell their stories. I have felt alone, I have felt lonely...rarely at the same time. I have been underwhelmed, over stimulated, even sassy from time to time. Not really sure why that matters in the scheme of things, but it is what comes to mind, so it is now part of the post.
I consider the wonder of my children, their lives, the lives of those they love, their hopes, their choices, and their fortitude to persevere, and I am inspired. I made room in my life to love again, and am recognizing that it will probably happen when I am equally convinced that I am as loveABLE as I am lovING. I bought a season pass to Six Flags, and rode as many roller coasters in one day as I possibly could. I plan to do it again. I camped, and chilled with friends, and camped again and made new friends. I ate copious amounts of ice cream for less than two bucks and did it each day while I was camping!
I rode a Segway, for the first time. I attended a PRO baseball game for the first time.*Got the hat-Go Giants! I saw the Thunderbirds scream through the air with precision and grace, for the first time. *no hat but I do have my very own "dog tags" now. I went to the Crocker Museum for the first time. I bought a new car that I actually paid cash for, for the first time. I bought a convertible, for the first time! *Same car, different point ;) I met a friend I have had for nearly four years, for the first time. I saw Jason Mraz, Boss Skaggs, Diana Krall, and Michael McDonald, for the first time.
There is a lot of life lived, passed by, forgotten and remembered. There is so much more that I could have said, but my eyes are rolling back in my head and now I am 3.5 hours away from the alarm clocks going off.
A lot can happen...or NOT happen in 8 months, some "blog worthy" some, not-so-much! This certainly cannot make up for 8 months worth of bloglessness *Yes, that is NOW "officially" another "Lisa Bee"-ism, but it touches on the high and low "lights" of them.
I hope this is my "uncorking"...and that there is more in my heart t
o say, to reveal, to question and explore. I hope that somehow, out of all that "stuff" up there, I might find a story to share, something more than a capsule size glimpse, smooshed between commas, or parenthesis to write about, to put color to, to put music to, and to put life to.Listen, it's late, there is no ethereal or double sided meaning to the ending to this post. I have no clever agenda, nothing witty with which to close out this diatribe of gibberish. In fact, the best I can come up with at this ridiculous hour of the night is that I should have ended it PARAGRAPHS ago, cashing in on the extra 30 minutes of sleep! There is no wrap up, no "moral to this story", no slow fade to a suspenseful dangler or an ending that causes you to think deeper, or smile softly or giggle inwardly for all the feel good mushy stuff...this one just ends.
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