moment, late at night as I write about my day. Today I needed to know He was here with me. I went for my usual two mile walk, where the first signs of fall began to command my attention. It was still dark when I started, the cool morning air was crisp and fresh. The smell of early morning sprinklers on wet grass, and the first of the fallen leaves crushed into the asphalt as the early morning commuters trudged their way to the freeways while the wind carried the scents along the very path I walked and waited on the Lord. I could hear morning alarms going off in the homes along the route, windows open to invite the freshness of a new day in. It was a new beginning for all of us, and I couldn't help but wonder about the lives of those reaching for their alarms, about to face their lives and all that this day would bring them. Did they have the hope I have? Do they talk with Jesus? Do they know He is with them too?
I had to "zip up" this morning, and it wasn't until the end of the two miles that I had built up enough body heat to appreciate that the zipper on my jacket was meant to go in both directions. I had my sun glasses and knew that within 40 minutes of leaving in the dark, I would be greeted by the sun in all its glory and magnificence. The hardest part of the walk is getting going, once I am out, I am glad I went.
Once I got back home I spent some time in prayer and and in God's word. I sipped my morning coffee and suddenly realized as I looked around my beautiful new home, cozy and best described as peaceful and serene, that I am living a wonderful, beautiful dream that I certainly don't deserve yet truly find great joy and satisfaction in. I pray to never take for granted, or hold too tightly my life and the things in it to the point that were I required to let go, my heart would be grieved or even tempted to strain to keep any of it at all.
I asked the Lord to show Himself to me today. His word says that I can and when I did, He would, so I did, and He, as faithful to His word as ever, met me for coffee and a time of being ministered to by Him. I asked for something specific, and I asked with expectancy and an odd assurance in my "gut" that He would surely answer. My experience has always been that He does so in His timing, and rarely ever in my own. In this particular instance, it was nearly instantaneous. Clearly, He was not surprised, and made it evident by the way the Psalm I would be turning to momentarily, was literally made a picture in my head. God was ready to deliver!
I opened my bible up to the Psalm (37) that had just flashed before my mind's eye and began to read. It only took a brief moment to know that I had just heard directly from the Lord and that He knew every detail of my frustration, trials, and "human nature" that would cause me to step out of the covering of His sweet presence and into the ugliness of my flesh and my selfish way of wanting to take things into my own hands. Intent on exacting a measure of justice against those that taunt and fail to fulfill their responsibilities, those that seem to get away with things, while I must simply wait. My hands seemingly tied behind my back, unable to conquer or avenge as my simple and selfish heart desires. I realized that today this very familiar passage was not intended for someone elses encouragement or exhortation. Today it was personal, and meant for me.
Sometimes I go through such difficult trials and want more than anything to know that I was not fighting without cause or chance of victory and more importantly that I was not fighting alone. I was reminded that My God is my refuge, my avenger, and that those that are doing evil do not win the battle. My role is to trust Him and not fear. To abide in Him and not look beyond His covering and provision for my life. It is so easy to look around and proclaim, "no fair"! I admit this is an ongoing process and I will no doubt read Psalm 37 many times until the day comes that I am no longer battling this particular giant.
What was so sweet and even further confirmation of His love for me, came as a friend stopped by and in the midst of a brief conversation about my morning he shared with me about a verse he had come across. I am sure you can guess by now that it was Psalm 37. I was actually a little stunned, (yet not at the same time) and shared what I had written just a few hours earlier this morning in my journal. I somehow had a sense of knowing God's presence once again as my friend had just been used by the Lord to show me that He is here, and in the details.
Days like this make me wonder how I can ever really doubt that the God I serve has everything under control. Days like this make me want to just dig in even more, find a strong foothold and stand fast. As I set another Ebenezer stone at this juncture of my life, I look forward to the next. I have a sense of renewed mind and strength and an unsettled state of being has become less apparent as a calmness and peace take its place.
His fingerprints are everywhere, in my life and yours...I dare you to count, to get out the dust and brush, and go to town discovering just where He has been in your life today.
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