Regret

Can I start again? Can I go back to the days when I said yes and I should have said no? Or, even the days when I said no and should have said yes? Can I start again, when the day is fresh and new and moments aren’t yet wasted or put to poorest use? Can I start again and love those I needed to - out loud and without restraint? Can I start again and choose to stay home, to invest my time in the ones who deserve it most? Can I go back to the times when I could stay in bed, entangled and breathing softly, and stay rather than leave the beauty of those moments for something meaningless and unmemorable? Can I start again? Can I say to the ones who need most to hear,that I am sorry, I am truly sorry, and make right what was wrong? Can I start again? Can I go back and teach the teachable what I have learned, mostly by trial and error that the moments are fleeting and one must not take for granted a single one? Can I start again? Can I rewrite this moment to read different than nothing more than regret?

Though I cannot go back…I can start again. I have NOW. I have THIS moment. I have a life lived out and wisdom gained from it. I have experienced joy and heartache that teach lessons that books cannot. I can breathe deeply and love even deeper than I breathe. I can speak softly yet powerfully with confidence and still speak truth kindly. I can seize the moment, living it to its fullest. I can hope endlessly, accept graciously, encourage lovingly and even make right choices that wouldn’t require an apology afterward. A life of change is not for the day dreamer,or procrastinator. It is not for the weak minded or faint of heart. It is for the one who recognizes and then chooses the moment. The question is no longer, Can I start again…the question is, “WILL I”?